I'm not married yet, but the man I am with, and hoping to marry is obsessed with hunting. This is my first winter with him, and I'm finding it very hard to deal with. He goes bow hunting in October, deer hunting (guns) in November-December, coon hunting in January, and then turkey hunting in April. I feel like half of each year with him is going to be one of me being alone, and us getting into arguments. I will say first off I don't agree with killing for the sake of killing. I am an animal lover. While I understand the argument that the population needs to be controlled, that isn't the reason men go hunting. My boyfriend doesn't bring the things he catches home for food, so that can't really be used as a good excuse either (and I don't want to eat deer). The reason he shoots is for the enjoyment of taking somethings life, and hanging its' head up as a trophy. I have asked that he not tell me he has shot anything, even if he does. I really don't want to know that he killed something. How do you deal with all of this? I feel like his dad, who I previously really liked, is the enemy. On a weekly basis, his father is calling him to encourage him to come hunting with him.... that the guys have missed him coming. And he cares that the guys have missed him. What about me? Does it not matter that I miss him when he's gone? It's so hard for me to deal with. I am not sally house wife, and don't appreciate him dumping all of the house chores on me. There is no doing them prior to him leaving as a couple. It simply falls on my shoulders, and if I don't do it, it just doesn't get done. It's as if I am suddenly expected to be some silly little housewife from a 50's tv show who does all of the cooking and cleaning and waits patiently on her husbands return. This isn't me. I find it really hard to have him gone for entire weekends out of the month. I enjoy my time with him, and really hate being alone. I don't have much of a social life. I'm quiet and shy, and there really are very few people I am friends with. They are so caught up with work and their families at this time of the year that there is literally nothing to do, and nobody to spend time with when he is gone. I am left home to suffer alone, bored, with nothing to do while he's gone to do the thing that seems to matter more than anything else (including me) in his life. It also seems like there are no activities of his for us to do as a couple. There are no interests of his for me to share with him. I feel like there is no room for me to be a part of his life outside of home. In contrast, I compete in dog agility, and take him with me. He is never left out, never left home. I pay extra on a weekend that would be much cheaper on my own, or split with a friend, so he can go with me. I know he wants to be there with me, and I want him to be with me, so I make it harder financially on myself so it can be so. It seems unfair to me that he has such a selfish hobby where I will not be part of his weekend life for 5 months out of the year, yet I have a hobby where he is always invited, and always able to be with me. He is never made to suffer the weekends alone like I do. I would so much LOVE for him to have SOME form of interest during the winter that I could be part of with him. I would love to go along and do something that he could share with me, and explain to me. Hunting will never be that. How do you deal with the attitude? It is always 'I'm a hunter, that's what I do, and you'll just have to get over it'. There is no sympathy there for the fact he is deserting me. It's like my feelings don't even come into play, and he just doesn't care that it hurts that he is gone like he is. There is also the whole 'well, it's always going to be a guys weekend out', as if I am unwelcome to be a part of his life. I am somewhat worried about the future, too. While kids aren't my top priority (truth be told I've never much cared for them), I know he wants kids. I don't see how I am going to deal with that. I know I would be incredibly angry if he did something like leaving me when I was close to being due, or dumping me weekend after weekend to deal with children... something that will come about more because he wants them than I do. I am very much opposed to having children repeatedly dumped on me to deal with on my own. I really feel he would need to curtail the amount of time he spends hunting, as I am not going to be the sole person responsible for children on a regular basis. I'm not sure how to broach that in the future, or that it won't just be a deal breaker. I hope I haven't upset people too much with my post, but there really is nowhere for me to turn with how I'm feeling. I was so happy to find this website, and to see that it isn't all as he claims. He claims his buddies wives all are just fine with them going hunting and leaving whenever they want, and that I am just the odd one. That I shouldn't say a word. I have to think that isn't true. I have told him he doesn't see what goes on behind closed doors, and I doubt all of those wives are as keen on their husbands just up and leaving all of the time as he claims.